NFL Predictions

THE JETS WILL WIN THE SUPER BOWL... SOMETIME OTHER THAN THIS YEAR!!!!!

It's been awhile, but I'm back writing this blog again. We'll start this fall with my NFL Season Preview. First up we will talk about the AFC.

Bills: You need to build off last year's success. Josh Allen must continue his MVP form for you to have a chance to beat the Chiefs. You have Stephon Diggs (#heaterp) and Cole "I don't believe in vaccines or science" Beasley but I have one question... who is your running back? If you say Allen will do most of the running himself, then you are just crazy. He will just throw the deep ball on every play.

Dolphins: Its Tua time baby! The Dolphins are looking to take the next step this year. You will have to do that without Will Fuller who is suspended for six games and is hurt all the time anyway. Tua needs to improve for you to have any chance. Honestly, this team is most likely to miss the playoffs by a game again.

Patriots: I don't know guys I think Tom Brady made Bill Belichick? That aside this team spent money this offseason to get the team better. "Super Cam Newton" is back and will be even better as the ... wait, what's that? He's been released? Really? Well, let the Mac Jones era begin I guess. Who will he throw too? You have Nelson"no hands" Agholor as your receiver. Am I missing anyone? I can't name receivers that aren't any good.

Jets: Well... You have Zach Wilson. You were garbage last year and won pointless games to not get the first pick. You are going to find a way to go 0-17, and somehow won't pick No. 1 anyway!

Chiefs: You spent the entire offseason rebuilding the offensive line. You have a fire offense and a ok defense so what's the problem? Nothing except Tom Brady in the Super Bowl. Patrick Mahomes, Tyreek Hill, and Travis Kelce will help you make it there again, and hopefully Brady and Tampa Bay won't be waiting.

Broncos: Drew Lock, Jerry Jeudy, and a insane Defense isn't a bad start ... wait, what? Lock is benched for Teddy Bridgewater? Huh. OK. Von Miller is making Carolina fans get sad flashbacks to that Super Bowl loss as he will continue to dominate. If the Broncos don't make the playoffs, then expect Miller to want to get out of Denver.

Raiders: JUST WIN BABY! You have no clue how to build a playoff team do you? Derek Carr is going to die behind whatever you call that offensive line. Josh Jacobs and Henry Ruggs are being wasted but the bigger crime is that defense. If only you had a defensive playmaker. I just don't know where you can find one. Maybe on the Bears.

Chargers: The Chargers have gone from Phillip Rivers and his 20 kids to Justin Herbert who fans are calling "The baby goat." Kennan Allen is looking to continue his Pro Bowl pace and hopefully not get injured. Joey Bosa is now trying to prove that he is the better Bosa brother. The only thing stoping the Chargers is if they have a 17 point or more lead in the second half. But in reality who cares about the Charges

Texans: Deshaun Watson... That's all I need to say!

Jaguars: Ummm ... Gardner Minshew deserved better. Trevor Lawrence is going to be running for his life behind that offensive line.

Titans: Derek Henry will continue to carry a team that has no defense and a bunch of receivers. A.J Brown and Julio Jones will try to help Ryan Tannehill bounce back from a OK season. This team just needs a defense to win.

Colts: Carson Wentz is the only thing you need to make the playoffs. He needs to play up to that big contract, so you're in big trouble. Hopefully the defense shows up.

Bengals: Joe Burrow needs help! His "protection" from the offensive line is so weak he might as well save time and just start the season on injured reserve. There's no one else that is good on your team besides Burrow and Joe "overated" Mixon.

Steelers: Ben Roethlisberger is old. He should just retire so they can let Dwayne Haskins start(maybe I'm just saying that so you will loose). You have one of the best defenses in the game led by T.J Watt and you will also need to pay him. Also Minkah Fitzpatrick is making all Dolphins fans cry. Mike Tomlin manages a game clock as well as a toddler. My Dad could even do it better.

Browns: Nick Chubb and Kareem Hunt need to carry this team because I hate to say it but Baker Mayfield is overrated. Odell Beckham Jr will play well for the three games he is healthy for. Also the rest of your receiver core is awful. If only you had a player like Julio Jones.

Ravens: Lamar Jackson will run past everyone with help from his running backs... oh wait they're all injured. You now have Le'veon Bell and Devonta Freedmen who were both 1,000 yard rushers... in 2017. You have a whole new receiver core and have one of the most underrated defenses. To win however you will need Jackson to develop as a passer to go far in the season, and also for him not to get COVID for the 17th time.

Now let's get to the NFC

Eagles: While Doug Peterson and Carson Wentz are gone, you have Jalen Hurts and Devonta Smith. You also managed to get Minshew so you have a quality backup. To win the division you need Hurts to level up, and that's not happening, so at least you'll get to draft a quarterback next year with one of your first round picks.

Giants: Why is it that Saquon Barkley was available in the third round of my fantasy draft? Lack of respect, or understanding that he's hurt all the time? You need Barkley to have a comeback. You also need Daniel Jones to play like a 6th overall pick. You may also need Evan Engram to actually catch a ball.

Cowboys: Besides the fact that you need Dak to play up to his contract, you will actually have to hope that your defense isn't what it was last year. Ezekiel Elliott will need to prove last year was just a off year and not the league figuring out how to stop him. My prediction 9-8 and stuck in mediocrity. If only you'd managed to finish the job against Tampa in the season opener.

Washington Football Team: My favorite team. The defense is still rock solid even with the lost of Ryan Kerrigan. They added Curtis Samuel, and William Jackson to help build up the team. But the biggest acquisition is Ryan "FItzMagic Johnson" who is most likely to throw four touchdowns and/or four interceptions in the same game. Besides that we have the legend Taylor Heinicke and are going to hopefully make the playoffs.

49ers: Jimmy Garoppolo or Trey Lance? That's the question. You are also in the toughest division in the NFL. Every team in your division can make the playoffs. Your main goal is to stay healthy and hope that you can make it back to the Super Bowl.

Cardinals: You have a weird mixture of old and young players. Kyler Murray will have to use DeAndre Hopkins and AJ Green if you want to make the playoffs. JJ Watt is here because anything is better than Houston I guess. Your defense is still trash and your team right now is kinda boring to me. Prove me wrong

Seahawks: Russell Wilson wants out and you have no running back (sorry Chris Carson fans but he's usually underachieving or hurt). DK Metcalf and Tyler Lockett are your only receivers and your defense is either old or Jamal Adams. I hope Wilson has some Advil because he'll need it behind that offensive line.

Rams: You will never have a first round pick! You have one of the best defenses in the league and you decided to get "Matt Statford"and then traded for Sony Michel. I hope Cam Akers is recovering well. If that happens you will probably win the division.

Falcons: Just don't waste Kyle Pitts and please don't choke again. Thats all that can be said about the Falcons.

Saints: You wasted Drew Brees career with only one Super Bowl and now you are screwed. OK, so the referees were to blame for some of that, but still. Jameis Winston is your starter so let me get my popcorn. You are probably going 5-12!

Panthers: Christan McCaffery is being wasted and DJ Moore is looking for some QB to throw to him. I guess Sam Darnold qualifies as "some QB." Hopefully you will make the playoffs

Bucs: I HATE YOU! You have Tom Brady and Antonio Brown! You brought everyone back from last year and hopefully you loose and Brady retires.

Bears: You are waisting that defense and you have no offense. Justin Fields has good speed and he will need it to make it through his rookie season.

Vikings: Dalvin Cook and Justin Jefferson prime years are wasting away. Kirk Cousins is a horrible QB and you are going 7-10!

Lions: Jared Goff is here so you are rebuilding. I can't believe he once led a team to the Super Bowl. But this isn't the Rams. There is no talent in Detroit and your team is so bad.

Packers: The last dance, part 2. Aaron Rodgers and Davante Adams will be gone after this season. YOU STILL NEED MORE RECEIVERS. I wonder when you could've drafted some(cough... Jordon Love...cough).

Playoffs predictions

AFC

1 Bills

2 Chiefs

3 Ravens

4 Titans

5 Browns

6 Chargers

7 Dolphins

NFC

1 Rams

2 Packers

3 Bucs

4 WFT

5 Cardinals

6 Seahawks

7 49ers

For everyone who's mad that there is nothing said about your team, that's because your team is boring.

Award predictions

MVP: Pat Mahomes

OPOY: Dalvin Cook

DPOY: Chase Young

OROY:Najee Harris

DROY: Zaven Collins

Comeback player of the year: Saquon Barkley

Walter Payton Man of the Year: JJ Watt

See you next week for my Football Team matchup preview.