Divisional Round Predictions

I went 4-2 in my predictions last week! Let’s see how I do this week…

Texans vs Ravens: Is it rest or rust?

The Texans destroyed the Browns last week, thus making NFL script writers sad as they are unable to continue the storyline of Joe Flacco coming back to face the team he once took to the Super Bowl. They will have to settle with a rematch of teams that met in Week One. While the Ravens won that meeting 25-9, this is a much different Texans team. They are hot coming into this matchup and the Ravens may be rusty. The Ravens also haven’t been great in the postseason recently, so if this game is close late things could get tense in Charm City.  But then again, there’s a reason Baltimore got to relax at home last week, and Mark Andrews may even be back this week to give Lamar Jackson his favorite crunchtime target.  Ravens win this one. 

Ravens 24, Texans 10

Packers vs 49ers: Can lightning strike twice?

The Packers made everyone's day last week when they dominated the Cowboys. Also I have to apologize to Joe Barry because his defense came to play last week after I made the statement that I could run a better defense than him. Now, the Packers have to play their boogie man in the 49ers. Green Bay is a dangerous team right now because it has nothing to lose. They weren’t supposed to be here and with that mentality I fully expect them to hang around with the 49ers. That being said, the 49ers have Christian McCaffrey and the Packers don’t.

49ers 31, Packers 21

Buccaneers vs Lions: Can you bite a pirate’s kneecap?

Detroit fans were celebrating hard last week after their first playoff win in years. Jared Goff, rejected by the Rams following the 2020 season, made just enough plays to eliminate his former team. Meanwhile, the Buccaneers eliminated a deflated Eagles squad that looked more like a team starting its first practice of the season than the defending NFC champ. Also the Browns are the real losers because they had to watch Baker Mayfield lead his team to a playoff victory while the quarterback they chose over him is… a bunch of things that aren’t family friendly. While I do think the Buccaneers defense is better, I just can’t shake the feeling that the Lions are gonna win because they have a little more to work with on offense. I also can’t shake the amazement that one of these quarterbacks is going to be playing for a Super Bowl bid next week, but Goff’s already been there once so he knows the drill.

Lions 20, Buccaneers 17

Chiefs vs Bills: Revenge is a dish best-served cold

Bills fans have been waiting for this playoff rematch for a long time. The last time these two teams played in the postseason, the game ended in heartbreak for the Bills. Since then they've beaten the Chiefs in the regular season each of the past two seasons.  This will be Patrick Mahomes' first road playoff game of his career, in part because Kadarius Toney lined up offsides that took away a touchdown that would've won the game for the Chiefs (if you listen closely you can still hear Chief fans complaining about that call). Of course, the game also is in Buffalo because the Chiefs lost to the Raiders on Christmas Day, and because Kansas City has gone through stretches where Mahomes seems to be throwing passes to receivers he just met that morning.  The Bills are the hotter team and the Chiefs just won’t be able to keep up on offense. The Bills will win, and to celebrate they will play some Taylor Swift songs in the stadium. But regardless, I have one message for Bills fans – DON’T THROW SNOWBALLS AT HER UNLESS YOU WANT SWIFTIES WORLDWIDE TO UNITE AND BURN YOUR CITY TO THE GROUND!

Bills 34, Chiefs 20

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